Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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