Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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