Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
