Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
