Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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