You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
