Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
