I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
