her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
