all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
