Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
