Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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