sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
