Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
