He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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