what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
