you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
