I CAN MOONWALK!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
