five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
