glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
