Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
