And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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