so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
