Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
