People in love make me want to vomit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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