Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
