Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
