Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
