This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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