I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
dude. I can hear the air.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
