I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
