i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
