Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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