Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Found the puke drawer
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
