quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
