I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
