Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
