I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
