Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Randomize
