Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
