So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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