We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
