I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
