whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
