Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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