She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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