Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
