Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I looked at my own cervix.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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