i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
