This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize