If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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