This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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